Dear Marcel

Marcel,

I hope your first day of school went well today.  I've loved the time I have gotten to spend with you as you walk around the classroom trying to decide if everything is just perfect.  Those 90+ kids are so lucky to have you as their teacher!

I'm so proud of how hard you have worked to get to this day.  It wasn't always a bump-free ride but we made it here together and now you are doing what you've always wanted to do.  How many people get to do that?

Thank you for continually putting me ahead of everything else on your over flowing plate.  It means the world to me!

Love,
MaryBeth

Update ;)

I try really hard to not go a month between posts, but this month just got away from me.

MARYBETH
I spent a long weekend at Emily's house after her knee surgery to help out.  To be perfectly honest, when my mom asked me to go with her, I understood that she didn't want to make the drive alone, but I didn't know how I'd be of any actual help.  It took just getting her out of the hospital post-surgery for me to realize how good it was for me to be there.  And not to compare knee surgeries because I know hers is much worse than the one I had, but I don't remember being in any pain compared to what Emily was experiencing.  As of now, she seems to be recovering nicely, well as nice as can be with a bum knee!

I am also glad to have my computer back from the repair shop after getting a virus.  I'm also very excited that it didn't corrupt/destroy any of my files.  And now it inspired me to actually get "back-up computer" crossed off my to-do list!

MARCEL
Marcel applied to his first real music teaching job.  It is in Newberg, OR right by where we used to live.  We're keeping our eyes and ears open for jobs anywhere, but getting that first application in is a huge relief!  His resume is now perfect and he has a good basic cover letter to tweek for each job.  It's just going to get easier from here, assuming the job postings start rolling in.  Graduation is only 83 days away, but the really big countdown is April 21st (39 days away) for his action research and work sample to be submitted.  After that, I imagine it being a huge downhill ride to graduation (but I'm not 100% positive on that).

BAILEY'S
We've turned in our application to become official members at our church.  We've been meaning to do it for awhile now, but the Membership 101 class has never fit into our schedule until now.  We're trying to be optimistic about Marcel's job search and realizing that God will have the perfect job for him wherever we are meant to live.  We're also trying really hard to juggle such busy schedules.  I don't realize how it always get so busy when its just the two of us, but it happens each and every week.

Here's to a picture-worthy event happening soon so I can be a better blogger :)

January Updates

There has been no picture taking this month, thus no real blog posts, so I thought I'd do an update.  Not necessarily for all of you, but for me. 

MARYBETH

• I'm doing great on my "2011 goals".  I've found it very beneficial to use Lilli's morning nap as my Bible reading time.  I've tried to do it first thing in the morning, but since I'm far from being a morning person, my eyes may read over the words, but I don't really get anything out of it.  I've already finished a book this month, The Pact by Jodi Picoult.  I had read it before but once again it was so wonderful.  Now I just need to get myself to the library or I'm going to seriously fail on that goal. 
• I still love Miss Lilliana to pieces.  She's almost 16 months and is as bright as can be.  We struggle most days to find stuff she'll eat, but she'll ask for "cackers" (crackers) all day long, only as long as I put peanut butter on them. 
• I'm headed to Portland, OR this weekend for a girl's weekend with my roommates (people I tell this to here are so confused because Marcel and I don't have roommates, but I can't get myself to say anything like "college roommates" or "old roommates"; they will always just be my roommates!)  They were all going to come visit me here, but in the end we decided it was cheaper and probably more fun for me to just go there.  I'll take pictures there and then can have a real blog post when I get back!

MARCEL

• He's been working with a new mentor teacher at Skyview High & South Middle.  He's enjoying it a lot (at least that's my impression).  He and Mr. Garner seem to be working really well together and Steve is full of advice and tips that Marcel is glad to be receiving. 
• He still volunteers for church's creative arts & worship teams, which is going to pick up A LOT as we're about to start a second church on the northside of Nampa, thus the name: CFC North.

THE BAILEY'S

• We're both doing great on our "not-a-diet-just-eating-healthier" goal.  We're really working on portion sizes, and having more fruit and vegetables.  We're still eating about the same type of dinners, but tweaking them just enough to get more produce in them. 
• We just enjoyed our January date.  It was a stay-at-home date.  We made our own pizza roll and watched The Social Network, which we both really enjoyed.  We do watch plenty of tv and movies together, but since it was date night, there were no computers on our laps while we watched.  It was truly a night to spend together!
• We're both counting down the days until Marcel graduates, which is only 130 days away!  Doesn't seem that far away when I think about the days, but to say graduation is June 4th, makes it seem like an eternity.  We're both beyond excited for no more school!  Marcel still has a lot of work to do between now and then, but of course, it will all get done.
• February is the month we've been told to start looking for teaching jobs, so that is exactly what we're going to do.  This is the area we've been praying about most.  We want to follow God's will for us, and feel that a BIG part of that is where we'll end up living.  We're not going to be very limited on where we look for jobs.  We know we'll find the perfect job where God wants us to be.
• After finally receiving Marcel's paycheck for being the Skyview Marching Band Assistant Director, our cruise fund is fully funded!  At least as far as we can tell now.  We're still living cheaply (I'd like to say frugally but truthfully, cheap is probably more accurate) and adding any extra money we find to it, just to make sure we have enough saved so it is 100% paid for WITH CASH!  The best part, however, is that we don't need any of our debt snowball money for the cruise (read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover for more information on the debt snowball) so we are now able to still save a little each month for our cruise, but also resume paying down our debt, which makes me so happy!

Goals for 2011

I have never really been too keen on resolutions for the new year, but this year I felt really motivated to set some goals for myself, so that is exactly what I did:

• DAILY devotional time
• Ability to allow God complete control in my life and marriage
• Read for pleasure
• Realistically, I'm aiming for 1 book per month
• Exercise and eat healthier
• I don't want to be on a diet, just be a little more aware of what I'm eating :)
• Monthly date nights
• This will require some creativity as we're not spending any money outside of bills and necessary expenses, but I know we can manage it!
• Monthly budget meetings with Marcel to stay 100% focused on what we've been working towards

There is still so much unknown about 2011, which I am kind of enjoying, but I know myself enough to know that sooner than later I'm going to want answers about our future (Marcel's job, where we're living, all sorts of big important things like that).  Hence, goals 1 & 2.  And the rest are just things either I've wanted to do or we've been meaning to do for awhile and am just now getting around to making it a bigger priority.

In Our Life

A whole month without blogging.  Not typical for me.

We haven't taken any pictures, so that must mean we haven't done anything too exciting, so in summary...

MaryBeth
*Still absolutely loves Miss Lilliana to pieces!  She's 14 months old and the things she is picking up on is fascinating.  She's officially walking (she's been able to walk for awhile, but it has finally overtaken crawling as the primary mode of transportation).  It should also be noted that when I first started watching her, when she was 5 months old, she served as great birth control for me, but those days are long gone!  more about this at the bottom of the post!
*Started working at Michael's as a seasonal employee and is already counting down until January 1st, when she is "let go".  Even if offered to become a regular employee, that is not happening!  It is good for our budget to have this other job, but it is not good for my sanity (and therefore Marcel's) for me to dislike it as much as I do.
*Is just about caught up with scrapbooking for 2010 and is VERY happy about that accomplishment.  I haven't printed pictures from our trip to Yellowstone but I think I'll wait until the holidays are over to consolidate orders.
*Has started a countdown to Marcel's graduation and as of today we're only 179 days away!
Marcel
*Is in his last week of student teaching in his elementary school placement.  His cooperating teacher has a VERY different teaching philosophy and style from Marcel but he's made it through just fine.  Now he's just got to put the big work sample together so he can get licensed, which can't officially happen until after the next round of student-teaching.
*Looking forward to his next placement, which allows him to be in a middle school AND a high school because that's what his cooperating teacher teaches.  This is the same teacher he worked with when he was helping with the marching band.
*Still keeps plenty busy volunteering at church on the sound team and the worship team playing drums.  He loves it, but I'm selfish and hate having him gone Wednesday nights for practice.

We're both very excited for Christmas.  We are still on the hunt for a gift for each of our mothers and Marcel to get my presents, but I'm done and it feels wonderful.  Our tree is up and decorated and while I had hopes of hanging more lights in our house, I don't think that will happen.  And by working at Michael's I've become jealous about not having decorations for our house but realize it is just stuff and we're only spending money to pay our bills (and finish Christmas shopping); everything else is out of the budget for now, because...

We've decided to go on a cruise in June, after Marcel graduates.  We're not entirely sure where we're going, but I'm pulling for Mexico.  And it is still very tentative because even though we'd be able to pay for it in CASH (the only way we'll vacation or pay for anything now, thank you Dave Ramsey!), we may need the money for savings if Marcel is unable to find a job or if we need it for moving expenses, which could add up fast if we move to the other side of the country :)  And we'd totally be okay with that.  Yes, we'd be terribly sad to move away from family but trust that God will move us to where we need to be.  So it is still up in the air, but for now it has been great motivation to not spend money and it feels wonderful that I haven't swiped my debit card in a few weeks!

When I put the cruise plans on facebook as just a BIG celebration to being done with school, my sister started a bad thing saying she was hoping for a nephew and then people went crazy telling me how great of a mom I'll be, etc.  There is still no Bailey Baby in the picture!  Marcel came home from school (his college) one day and had a classmate very upset and just wanting it all to be done because her kids asked her when she'd spend time with them again.  It made me realize how happy I am that we've decided to wait at least until Marcel is done with school.  We struggle to spend enough time together with his hectic schedule and couldn't imagine adding a baby to the mix.  We talk about it like we talked about and planned our wedding before we were even engaged, just knowing it is coming sometime in the future.  After June 4th, we'll start praying for God's guidance and know that we'll become a family of 3 (or 4, if my mom gets her wish of me having twins) at just the right time!

My Prayer

Today Marcel played the drums at church, which means I sit all by myself during worship.  I'm used to it now, plus it makes me more grateful for the times we get to enjoy worship together.  After the first song, Pastor Ryan called the church elders and leadership team up to the altar to be available for our prayer requests, just like he does every week.

Without missing a beat, the little girl (I guess she was around 10, which is influenced by Marcel thinking she was 12) sitting in front of me, stood up, squeezed her way in front of her mom sitting in her chair, and went to an open couple to ask for prayer.  She came back and again took her place to join the congregation in corporate worship.

Worship was wonderful.  The sermon was touching as we plan for many upcoming opportunities to serve our community, but witnessing the faith of a young child was simply the most moving part of church today.

I pray that when God allows Marcel and I to be the earthly parents to some of His precious children, we will raise them in such a way that they have a faith in God as strong as I witnessed today.

Back to School

Marcel left just a few minutes ago for his last first day of class, as a student that is.  His program was so generous to give him the month of August off, which sounds lovely, except when you think they only go once a week anyway, so it wasn't too much of a break.  I guess the no homework thing is the nice part!  He has hated reading on facebook about everyone packing up to head back to school and not being able to do it too.  I told him he could if he felt like it but I was staying here :)  He reasoned his rearranging not only the living room, but also our bedroom and his corner of the hobby room, by saying "well it's like getting a new place like I've been doing at this time of year for the last years."

He gets to meet his pedagogy teacher tonight.  That's the guy (maybe girl, I don't really know) that is going to teach him specifically about teaching music.  He is STOKED to finally be in a class more directly focused on what he wants to do, but that doesn't mean he hasn't thoroughly enjoyed all the other general classes.

He only has 2 more months of classes before getting in a classroom to start student teaching.  He is in an elementary school from November 1st until whenever the school breaks for Christmas and then in an high school for the spring term. 

He's very excited for the schools he was placed in and I'm counting down until June to see him look so handsome in another cap & gown!  And for us to be able to spend a Thursday night together.  And to know where we are going to live.  We're 100% open to searching in all 50 states to find a job, because graduation means student loan payments which can't get paid without a job.  A job is very important!

Speaking of that, I'm still in search for a job.  A few months ago I was totally sold on trying to find a full-time job and give up Miss Lilli, but now it just about breaks my heart to think about not watching her anymore.  I have been very surprised about how much I've enjoyed her baby stage (I knew I could handle watching her, but I've always been a little afraid of babies!), but she is just about to the age I just absolutely love.  I can't give up now :) so I am now open to find a part-time job for the evenings.  Just something to make up the difference of Marcel not working as of November 1st. 

I'm off to do some shopping to help me feel better about being alone for the first time in quite awhile, at least with school being the reason!

What Do We Do Now?

Snoh is no longer with us as of about 9:00 this morning.  The day is already weird.

The last few days with him here we did nothing exciting, but the house is different.  Lilli is still here crawling her little heart out.  Marcel is home until school starts and he can start subbing again.  It is simply a strange day at our house.

Hoping for a date night on Saturday, but only time will tell if other things don't come up before then.

Pictureless Post

Updates on The Bailey's

• MaryBeth LOVES spending her days with Lilli, who can finally army crawl good enough to get wherever she wants. If you hold her fingers to support her, she's an excellent walker.
• Marcel LOVES working at the Boys & Girls Club in Kuna. It's a lot different than the other 4 summers he has worked at a club, but he's still enjoying spending time with the kids.
• MaryBeth is just about finished with her first official week of training for a half-marathon. The training schedule will have her ready to race on or after September 4th, just in time for her 25th birthday, which is what motivated her to run a half-marathon in the first place
• Marcel is just about finished with his first year of graduate school. He is currently taking 3 classes (2 online only, and 1 on the Thursday night class session) so that they have the month of August off. When they start up again in September it's just 2 months before starting student teaching
• MaryBeth is still spending her free time couponing! She is loving how far she can stretch her small budget by matching sale prices with coupons.
• Marcel is still spending his free time at church. He recently auditioned to play drums and guitar on the worship team. He played drums in the Wednesday night service, which they use as practice before playing on a Sunday service. He'll slowly start playing the guitar, but the more he plays on the worship team, the fewer Sundays he has to run the sound board, which he has been doing great on. What it must be like to be so talented that people fight over where to use you!
• They are both getting very excited for th Bailey Reunion in Puyallup, Washington in July. It's just a weekend trip, but we're staying an extra day to make it down to Oregon to see some old friends. After the reunion, Snoh is coming to spend about 3 weeks with them. They plan to spend a day at the water park (because Snoh tells them everytime they talk that he's finally tall enough for the big rides), swim in Wende Lady's pool, play in the big sandbox, and other fun things to be determined!

4 years

It was on May 22nd, 2006 that Marcel and I started dating. We didn't know it on that day, but once we had decided that we were "officially" dating, we both agreed that May 22nd would be our anniversary. In early stages of wedding planning, so early in fact that we weren't actually engaged, we talked about getting married on that day so that we'd have the same anniversary for forever, but other things prevented that from happening: like my step-sister's high school graduation and the small fact that Marcel would be graduating from Pacific the next day.

I have read that to keep passion and excitement in your marriage, you should celebrate all of the milestones: first date, dating anniversary, date of your first kiss, etc, and while I like that idea it's hard to put into practice when our 2 anniversaries are just 8 days apart. I did however hope that the day would never fall from my brain. I was nearly unsuccessful in that. It was 11:30pm and Marcel & I were in bed, him trying to sleep and me wide awake, because I'd rather be talking (Emily and I used to do the same thing, go to bed more tired than we could imagine yet still stay up talking for hours) when I realized it has now been 4 years that we've been together. We talked about the early, pre-dating days. How Marcel saw me as a challenge because of my shyness, because I seemed far from interested in him yet somewhat intrigued by him. Turns out he could read me even back then because I really tried to not like him because he seemed to be so far from the guy I had been waiting for, but really did like him!

Our 4 years have been a roller coaster like should be expected, but I've thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the ride! And now we're just 1 week away from our more official anniversary, the one the marks our time spent as husband & wife, the one that means more to me than anything, even sacrificing the memory of our dating-date if that's what it comes to!

There are a few earlier pictures of us in our dating years, but this is the oldest one I have on my computer. Marcel took me to the airport for my trip back to Idaho on my first summer of staying in Forest Grove.

July 9, 2006

All Alone

This morning, Marcel woke me up at 4:30am so that I could take him to the airport. He is flying to Portland to attend the Oregon Music Educators Conference with the group from Pacific and we're both very grateful for the opportunity. I've heard from lots of people that MAT programs are not very good at preparing music teachers, so any chance he has to learn about teaching music, I'm going to make sure he can take it.

That, however, has left me all alone for the weekend, for the first time since moving here. It is weird being in a new place (nevermind that I have lived here before!) hearing weird sounds due to a crazy wind storm and being alone. Over the last 2 days I have been compiling a very long to-do list for myself so that I wouldn't go crazy just watching tv and surfing the internet 4 days straight, waiting for Monday at 5:20pm so I can go pick him up. Well, that list has already served it's purpose. The only thing I didn't cross off today was "scrapbook". I did do a lot of scrapbooking but I know that I'll be doing more of it over the next few days. Guess it wasn't that long afterall!

Marcel reminded me that for all the time we've had together since moving here it will be good for us to spend sometime apart (we both really do believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder), but I think he has the better end of the deal :) I really do like having MaryBeth time, but I like it a lot more when it is just for a few hours, not a few days!

Here's to spending a few more nights trying to fall asleep in a giant bed without someone right beside me...

Oh How I'll Miss Thee

The time has just about come...the boxes have been packed, the apartment has been cleaned, the jobs have ended, the education has been achieved, now all that's ahead of us is the move.

In memory of my over 5 years, and Marcel's 4, in Forest Grove here is everything I am going to miss...

• MAKA--I never called us that before but as I was making a list of everything that had to get done before I could leave this place, a party with MaryBeth, Amy, Kelly and Allison was on the top of the list. My handwriting is large, but my planner isn't, so it became the MAKA party...I could go on and on about why I'll miss these girls. People say that high school is the best years of your life and I believed them...until I went to college, where I made the friends I'll have forever. They were there for me through everything. When school, home, Marcel, or just life in general was getting the best of me, they helped me see the bigger picture.

• Pacific University--I'll start by saying this was not the school's logo the entire time I was a student, but now it's undergone a much needed facelift. Pacific was my home away from home for a year, and then finally became my home when I started spending my summer breaks here too. I can still remember the first time I called this place my home to my mom! It gave me more opportunities than I ever thought I could get out of college. I met some of the greatest people ever here, had the coolest bosses ever (even the President!), and had more fun than I could ever try to recall.
• Sonrise Church--It reminds me of my first semester at Pacific, trying so hard to find a church that wasn't just a college group; we all wanted a family church, one that had kids, young adults, adults and even an elderly crowd. With the help of Whitney's pastor at home, Sonrise became just that for us. I started attending there January 2005, and teaching in the Preschool Sunday School Class (the same class I taught up until moving) in October 2006. It gives me hope to know that if I was lucky enough to find a church that would help me grow spiritually once, I will be able to do it again, as Marcel and I search for a new church home together.
  I don't believe luck actually had anything to do with it! It was more like a God thing :)
  

• Meadowlark--Our first place! How could I not miss the place we spent our first 6 months of marriage? While we were stressed about having a place to live, this place practically found us. It provided us a safe place to live close to school and close enough to work. I may or may not miss the actual apartment, but the time spent in #34 will be cherished forever, and I know that we will always look back on the days spent here.


• Bailey Avenue--I drove by this road every day I drove to the gym from Forest Grove and have no recollection of it until my first day back to work after my honeymoon—when I was finally a Bailey. For reference, I had been working at the gym for nearly 7 months at that point! In a book we got from Marcel’s mom, I read about the importance of prayer cues, having something to remind you to pray specific prayers. This street served as my prayer cue to pray about my marriage, my husband, my life as a wife, whatever was on my mind and heart about our marriage. While I hated the 30 minute drive through the city, this sign slowly earned a place in my heart and started me praying about the most important thing in my life. Now that I have dedicated time to continually pray those things early in our marriage, I can continue to follow the same pattern even without my prayer cue.

• 24 Hour Fitness & Banana Republic--I started working at both these places, hoping they’d be very temporary until I could find something more practical for my using my education. I soon felt very discouraged when job searching was going nowhere so I was happy to take a month or two off from looking. Then the economy happened and I was simply grateful to be working at all, when at 1 point, 14% of people in Oregon weren’t. I spent probably way too much time complaining about these places, but looking back now they were awesome. At both places, I met great people and learned great things about myself. Plus, as I recently told my mom, the gym has taught me more about parenting than I ever thought I’d learn before actually becoming a parent.
  
• No Sales Tax--When I went to the dollar store the other day to buy Christmas wrapping paper, I took in a single $1 bill. After the move that is something I'll no longer be able to do. It seems so little, but still something I'll miss!

Mysterious Message

Yesterday morning I was on my way back from Banana, anxious for my nap, and listening to K-LOVE, my new found love in radio. I heard that Steven Curtis Chapman was going to be on but I didn’t hear when. I was hoping that I’d hear it because he is my all-time favorite Christian music artist. On my way to the gym, my radio turned on to K-LOVE and it was Steven Curtis Chapman! His new song, Heaven is the Face, is about his little girl dying. His whole interview was about her dying and how they are coping still after 18 months. All he could say over and over is that there are still hard days and very hard days but each day they are reminded that they will be reunited and that is enough to get them through the difficult times.

He also spoke of his tattoo of her drawing—a six petal flower, with only 1 petal colored in, with the word SEE. He explained it as the sign from God that everything would be okay, that his family would get through the tragedy. He has 6 children, 1 of which has gone to Heaven, that’s the petal that’s colored. We can never reach completion in this life and it isn’t until we return to our Father. SEE was a word she had just learned to write but it spoke volumes of saying see I’m in a better place.

I spent my 30 minute drive crying along to the radio, and the DJs who were also crying. Lately I’ve felt that life has been rough for me—my jobs keep me way too busy for way too little money, my house never looks how I want it to, I don’t see my husband enough, etc… but this whole conversation spoke to me. There are people who have it way harder than I do, and they may even be in my apartment complex. I have 2 jobs at a time when many people have none. I have a place to live when many people don’t. I have food in my cupboards and fridge when many people can’t afford groceries. I have a loving, supportive husband and family when many people are losing their loved ones.

This was a message I needed to hear. It is something I’ve been praying about and having Marcel pray for me about. God works in mysterious ways and allowed me to hear the message I have needed to hear to come from someone I admire. I feel relieved to realize again that I am blessed beyond measure by a God who will never forsake me.

This Place...

In my last post I said that I could not have possibly caught up on the 2 years I hadn't written in my journal, but I did write about what I was feeling at that time. Again, I said last time that it is already packed up but what I wrote about is still tugging on my heart, so I'm writing about it again...

I had spent the day packing up and while I am excited beyond belief to be moving I was getting very emotional for the following reasons:

• This place has been my home for over 5 years
• This place is where all my closest friends are
• This place is what brought Marcel and I together (I didn't reread this far back in my journal, but I know that as a senior in high school, I was scared about picking a college because I had hoped and dreamed that would be the place God would show me my husband, and at 18 that thought was scary!)
• This place is where Marcel and I have spent our entire relationship: dating, engaged, and now married
• This place allows me to visit our wedding site whenever I want...nothing is as good as going back to campus and walking through the place we exchanged our wedding vows and remembering the excitement of that day!
• This place has changed me into the person I am today

Even with all of that and some things I will miss about Forest Grove (I have a draft of a post I'll publish when it gets closer to moving day) I am super excited to be returning to Idaho, closer to my family after these last 5 years of being gone. I am forever grateful for everything Forest Grove and Pacific University has done for me and could see us ending back in this area God-willing, but for now my time here is complete and I need to head somewhere else to keep growing in my relationships with my husband, my parents, my sisters, and of course God.

Reflections

2 days ago (who really knows though because my days have been all screwed up lately!) Marcel told me that he had run across my journal while looking for a notebook to take to his conference. He didn't want to tell me because he thought I might be mad at him for reading part of it and at first I was a little hurt, but I have no secrets so then I was just intrigued by what he found. He told me that he was reading from the end of my sophomore year, which is when our relationship started. He was getting very emotional (but that is just between you and me!) telling me about it, and even said that it made him fall more in love with me. All he really told me was he could tell how excited I was for our relationship, my first ever!

Today I was trying to be very productive, which I think I accomplished, except instead of looking a place of employment in Idaho, I started packing. Knowing we haven't touched our bookshelf since we moved in, that's where I started, so I too ran across my journal. I was surprised to find I hadn't written in it since July 2007! I went digging for the entry that first talked about Marcel--sometime in May 2006. I read through the rest of the journal and was also very fascinated with what Marcel had just read.

Some things that really stuck out to me:

• I had some doubts at the beginning, mainly during our first 3 months together since we were starting a relationship long distance, but once we were both back at school, things turned out great!
• I had very great friends who were there for me 100% when I need someone to talk through my feelings with
• I have been able to talk completely openly and honestly with Marcel from the beginning
• I had been very anxiously waiting him to say "I Love You" for a few weeks before it finally came on November 2, 2006...Kelly had told me not to say it before 6 months of dating to make sure I truly meant it, and Marcel respected that so he waited as long as he could before he finally said it, just 20 days early, but I know for sure that we both meant it ;)
• I had started to think about us getting married earlier in our relationship than I would have thought
• I was super excited to get good reviews from my family the first time Marcel made the trip to Idaho with me, which sealed the deal for me in a way
• I was grateful to be able to spend so much time by his side in the hospital during the liver tumor fiasco of 2007...we spent so much time joking that he'd have plenty of time to repay me as he stood by my side as I was delivering our children
• I was expecting a proposal on our first anniversary, just 16 months earlier than when it finally came

It also made me realize that we've nearly been together 3.5 years and what a ride it has been! Those were my reflections on the past and this is my glimpse into the future, trying to remember that we are not in control of any of it and we'll continue to gladly take what ever God chooses to hand us.

• Moving to Idaho, because all we've ever known together is the wonderful college town of Forest Grove
• Following Dave Ramsey's plan for our Total Money Makeover, and choosing to live like no one else so one day we can live like no one else
• One day becoming Mom and Dad, in addition to being Husband and Wife, something my mom is anxiously awaiting!
• Growing closer together each day of what I've made Marcel promise to be at least 60+ years!

And in case you were wondering, I didn't think I could possibly catch up my journal from the last 2 years, so I just started up again like no time had passed, and then packed it up promising myself that when we are in Idaho and I'm unpacking I'll be able to write about our first Christmas as a married couple, hopefully enjoying a beautiful white Christmas in Idaho!

A Life Changing Conversation

I always desire that this blog can serve as a place to write about my feelings and emotions, not just the fun stuff I experience, and that is what this post is all about.

Every week our church has the elders and the members of the worship team gather at the front of the sanctuary to be available for prayer. As we were leaving our seats Marcel tugged me to go receive prayer with him. Without knowing what he wanted prayer for, I was tugging him back--it's well out of my comfort zone to tell complete strangers my life story. Marcel just told the guy (a member of the worship team, and a fellow drummer) that we were asking for guidance in where our life was going next, with plans for a big move and that we desire to see God's hand in our decisions so that we are constantly on His path, not our own. This prayer led to tears for me, so we walked around the outside of church until we found a quiet place to sit, talk, and reflect.

Some big decisions were made that day, ones the assure me that we are indeed following God's will for our lives, together and individually, because they are big changes in what we had set out as our next steps. For instance, Marcel will not be continuing on with his education to obtain a Master's in Teaching. While he knows that is something he desires and is gifted to do, he feels that it is not the right time for it (how I can I say anything to that? I too wanted to take time off before I embarked on anymore school?) He will be looking for a job in the Boise area, as we both feel it is in our best interest to head out of the only area we've ever known together. It will give us a chance to experience something new together; even if I do know Idaho, I still feel that this time in Idaho will be far different than any other time I've been there. I think that Marcel has always known I am ready for a change in my employment it wasn't until that conversation where I could tell he understood why. I no longer want to stress all day Thursday waiting for an email with my work schedule praying that I will have enough hours to pay the bills. I no longer want to feel guilty about taking a weekend off because it may mean a paycheck that is way too small. I no longer want to leave the house at 8am and not return until 9pm for only 8 hours of work. While I realize I have a lot to be grateful for in that I do not only have 1 job in the economic situation our country is in, I have 2, I am excited to think about what opportunities are ahead of me. Through our nearly 4 months of marriage, I have seen more financial blessings than I ever thought someone could have over a much longer time period. Marcel has made me realize the importance of tithing. I have been in church my whole life and while I have sat through countless sermons on that very principle, I could never quite wrap my head around the fact that money would just appear out of nowhere if I gave the fair share to God first. It has been an eye-opening experience to always be blessed at just the right time in reward for our faithfulness. If I could only take away 1 thing from the short time we've been married, that would be it. I never felt that a short 30 minute conversation could hold so much meaning in the words we shared that day.

We pray every night that we'd hear and see from God daily and that He'd show us the path he has set out for us. After that time with my husband I know without a doubt that we in fact keeping God first in our relationship and that we are faithful to obey Him and the desires He has for us.

Distance

Wednesday afternoon I took Marcel to Portland so he could take an Amtrak train to visit his mom and brother for a few days before school starts. These are not the first nights we’ve spent apart because it was just last Friday that he was up in Washington DJ-ing a wedding, but knowing it is for more than 1 night has been pretty hard on me. Thursday night I had a crazy thought: our bed is the bed I had for the year before our wedding and I loved nothing more in the world to have the whole queen sized bed to myself, but I would have given just about anything that night to have someone to share it with. Also, pre-wedding, I would have given just about anything for a day (or 2 or 5) completely alone, and now there wasn’t much I wouldn’t have given up to have him here to spend time with.

My little sister was teasing me when my facebook status said, “MaryBethis going to miss her husband while he goes home for a few days. Monday can't come fast enough” because it is such a short amount of time, but after spending every night together it is a BIG adjustment for him to be gone. I am trying to remind myself that distance does in fact make the heart grow fonder—I’m a strong believer in that since I’ve seen what it has done to our relationship while we were dating and spending our summers apart—but it is easy to let the negative cloud the positive. I am anxiously awaiting his return and in the mean time, I’m going to spend some time trying to finish our dating scrapbook so that I can FINALLY start working on our wedding book. I may even try to do some cleaning, since Marcel went on vacation, only after doing all the laundry…I think it is the least I could do with all my free time!

I've Been Thinking

Since last night's Grey's Anatomy my mind has been running. It was such a good episode in terms of television season finales, and it was also very emotional and relational. I feel pretty sappy that a TV show can affect me like this, but I can't deny it; plus those of you who really know me already know this about me!

Since the day Marcel proposed to me we've prayed to always realize what is really important in the wedding (to us, hardly anything, besides the vows) and that the bigger thing is the marriage. The show made me re-realize a few things:

• We will forever put the other person's hopes, dreams, desires, needs and wants before our own
  
• Life will get messy and we'll face things we never could have dreamed, but God prepares us for all our challenges
  
• God brought us together nearly three years ago (1 week shy!) and He'll keep us that way if we keep him in our relationship
• There are rewards to marriage that you can never imagine until you are experiencing them firsthand
• I'm blessed to have found Marcel when I did, so that we could experience everything in life together.
• Marcel loves me more than I ever thought someone could be loved--he told me today that he loves me 85 trillion times more than I love him!

I'm only 15 days away from becoming a wife and am continually praying, not only with Marcel, but in my own prayer time, that as the wedding gets closer and closer I lose focus on the little things and the wedding things, but instead take time to consider the bigger things: the vows we'll be taking when we commit ourselves to each other and finally become husband and wife.